


Some Idiot Takes a Wack at a Deadpool Sequel and It's More About Negasonic Teenage Warhead

by agentmargaretcarter



Category: Deadpool (2016)
Genre: Thanks Tumblr, and Deadpool will get a boyfriend, but what do you expect, copyright issue spiderman, screw what the end credits scene said, there is some language, this sequel will surround Negason
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:05:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentmargaretcarter/pseuds/agentmargaretcarter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Negason stumbles upon a very disgruntled Colossus trying to convince Deadpool to join the x-men in pursuing the villain who has killed not only some of their own mutants, but Vanessa as well. They enlist local non-mutant nerd Pete Parkley (who suspiciously resembles one Sp*derman, credit to a tumblr post) to help them track down the villain after the rest of the school mysteriously disappears because Magneto exists (aka bullshit excuse for studio not having x-men but hey maybe Kurt will show up because I can).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning™

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback, no matter how critical, is appreciated, especially if grammar edit or characterization related.
> 
> Also I'm sorry but I didn't feel like screwing around with html so there's slashes in place of italics.
> 
> Yes, Sam, this is the one I said I was gonna wait to post until it's all the way done. I got antsy.

The Negasonic Teenage Warhead was bored.

She often was. Sarcastic and antisocial, fellow x-men didn't exactly line up to converse with her. Usually she was content in her privacy, until moments like this, where the boredom hit her like she had run into a glass sliding door. 

Perhaps a change of scenery would help. She creaked her door open and poked her head out. After scanning and finding she was sufficiently alone, Ellie stepped out into the hall and pulled her coat with her. Even though it attempts to get itself caught in doors and she didn't require it to conceal her uniform at this time, she enjoyed the dramatic swishes and soft suede interior of the black trench. 

She slipped down the hall uninterrupted, making it all the way to the wonderful chaos of the kitchen. Machines hummed and the chefs shouted what sounded to Ellie like random strings of ingredients across the room, prepping for tonight's dinner already at 3:00 in the afternoon. Various visits to swipe extra rolls and sandwiches had taught her how to dodge the rushing faceless assistants and the occasional flying knife.

The atmosphere cheered her slightly. There was a lot to watch- like a cirque du solie in close quarters. She slunk through unnoticed, snagging a bun out of the mountain prepared for dinner. Ellie hopped up on an empty waiters cart and took a pat of butter off the counter. She broke the roll in half and set the butter in the middle, then concentrated. 

She bet she looked ridiculous, a short girl in purple lipstick staring intensely at a piece of bread. Nose scrunched up, brows furrowed. Her powers required minimal effort in large bursts, but precision was where she struggled.

A golden orange glow circled her fingers and danced lightly over the bun. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered that she was in a kitchen and that a slip up could easily cause a major issue, but she felt confident this time. The glow rose up in tiny tendrils, and she tried not to smile, because that would ruin it. Experimenting a bit, Ellie turned the bun over in her hands twice, threading her energy across the crust until it had a satisfying char to it. She smirked and let go of the energy, watching it twirl up and dissipate into the air.

"Hey!" A face popped up in front of her. She started and nearly dropped her roll. "Neat. I didn't know you had such precise control."

"Hey, Peter." She sighed and hopped off the counter. The brown-haired gangly geek was an intern the professor had hired. He was an expert in DNA, and the first human in their integration program.

"I've told you a million times. It's just Pete. Plain Pete Parkley." He folded his hands neatly in front of him.

"Yeah, Peter." She bit into the roll and with her mouth full, she asked annoyedly, "Did you need something?"

"No." He blinked once, twice. She felt a little sorry for him- people avoided him like they did her, but he didn't deserve it really.

The key word was "little" i.e. Not sorry enough. She pushed the roll at his chest and hopped off the counter. "I've lost my appetite." Pete meant well, but El didn't feel like putting up with questions about powers that she hardly knew the answers to. Plus, he could find traces of something on their and experiment with it or whatever. She strode out of the kitchen, letting her coat flair out behind her, which was always satisfying. 

The cafeteria (sorry, "dining hall") was relatively unoccupied. A girl studying in the center, a couple sucking face by the door, a few kids in the corner "eating" assorted "vegetables". El couldn't help but feel that Colossus should have interrupted her sulking by now. The lovable brute always came to bug her after he dismissed his last class.

Negason Continued

Three twelve. Unless he was having a particularly verbose lecture, which was doubtful considering he taught the mutant equivalent of home ec, something was up. 

She left the cafeteria and walked at a slightly quicker pace than usual. In the entry foyer she found the not-so-secret x-shaped button embedded in the molding. She pressed it and quickly backed up as the painting swung open. She had no idea how the professor stepped up and into the hole of the passage to the meeting room. 

With the painting shut, the hall was dark, but already Colossus's muffled voice was echoing through the bomb-proof door at the end. "Nate! Pancakes tutu mud and sand."

She punched in the code (which she knew only because it coincidentally was her birth year and she'd fiddle with the keypad a few times) and the door once again swung open at her. Personally, she hated doors that opened automatically towards you, because how is anyone without super speed supposed to dodge that. But digression. "I DO understand!" Deadpool shouted back. They didn't appear to notice her. "That fucker will pay for what he did to Vaness-"

"I know you need time. But I am saying that we are targeting him as well. We could work together."

He was in a frenzy at this point, hands constantly flicking to and gripping his guns. "Oh no. I am going to rip his dick off and shove it into his eye sockets, and then he will become very well acquainted with the smell of his burning flesh before I shoot his skull out. I say his skull because he clearly had no fucking brains-"

"We will bring the person to justice together," insisted Colossus. "They have been targeting mutants as well- you aren't the only one who deserves closure." 

"No way José! This is personal."

"Have you ever considered that it's personal to us as well?"

Deadpool stopped at that. Taking out a gun he casually scratched his neck with it. "Well yeah I guess."

"You have grown much, Wade. You have learned and matured, but you still have a long ways to go."

He threw his hands up in the air. "I /guess/," he drawled. "Fine. Yeah. Whatever. We'll do it together. Teamwork and all that crap. But my vengeance will be gruesome, so you may want to leave the kid at home. No matter how badass she is." He waved his gun casually at El.

It was always funny to see Colossus shocked; he looked like a delicate 50s housewife who just heard the latest scandal, but that same expression on a giant metal body builder.

"How did you get in here?" he asked.

"You really need to change the password every once and a while. And I'm totally coming." Just because they said she shouldn't. 

Colossus came over and clapped her on the back. "Of course!"

"I mean if the studio still can't afford anyone better," Deadpool mused. "How else are we going to have a sequel?"


	2. Scene 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've basically decided that to keep like the fluidity of a movie my chapters are going to cut off like scene breaks, so some chapters will be shorter than others.

Once they left the meeting room everyone in the school had disappeared. A note was taped to the door. El read it out loud,"Magneto is an idiot, but an idiot with good points. Will be back in a week or two. Keep working on recruiting Wilson. Left Pete behind." She shrugged, because this happened roughly once a month.

As if on cue, Pete walked around the corner. His eyes shot open and he jogged over. "Mr. Colossus, sir! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Calm yourself, Peter."

"Pete," he corrected.

"Yeah," Deadpool chimed in. "Peter would be a serious infringement of copyright issues, considering he's got that whole 'Andrew Garfield' look going for him."

“...anyway. The professor left and took everyone with him. He does want you to recruit Wilson, whoever that is-”

“Are we seriously going to pretend no one knows who I am?”

“-and continue to investigate the murders. I brought all the files I could find on the victims.” He fumbled with his messenger bag and eventually found five large Manila envelopes stuffed to the seams. Then he appeared to suddenly notice the gun-and-katana-toting man wearing tight tight red spandex standing in front of him. “Oh hi, I'm Pete.” He extended his hand.

“Wade Wilson.”

“Wow you're… Strong.” Whether Pete was blinking extra in embarrassment or just batting his eyelashes, El couldn't tell. 

“Yeah the muscles come free with the suit.” El scoffed and he turned to her. “I don't need your attitude little missy.”

“K grandpa.”

He lifted his mask a just over his mouth and stuck his tongue out at her. Then he yanked it back down. “So what's next big guy?” he asked of Colossus.

“Investigation.”


	3. Meet Maggot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Spoopy Day One!

The back room was more calm, having an almost café-like vibe. A few people dotted the tables around the room, and each person was drinking alone. In the back, El could have swore she spotted a familiar red figure and looked to Colossus for confirmation. He nodded.

The red man leaned back in his chair, sipping something fruity from a straw, and acting as though he didn't notice his formerly fellow X-Men. Colossus cleared his throat. “Maggot.”

“The fuck you want,” replied Maggot.

“Information.” Pete was trying to look confident by lifting his chin, but he was straining too hard and it wasn't working. He threw some crumpled up cash on the table.

He sorted through and counted the bills, then made a disgusted face and threw them back on the table. “What do I look like, a two-dollar hooker?”

“Watch yourself,” snapped Wade. “The best woman I ever knew was a sex worker.” 

“Ooh ‘sex worker’. He's PC.”

“At least my brand of comedy doesn’t involve shitting on others to make myself look semi decent.” He made a noise like he was sticking his tongue out. 

The room went silent. The people in the immediate vicinity looked at him. He looked around, gauging the general shock of his cohorts. To ease the tension, he simply shrugged and said, “Boobies.”

El smirked. Maggot rolled his eyes. “‘Jokes’ aside, I cost a bit more than that.”

“I don't think you do.” Colossus growled and shifted into metal form again. He picked up Maggot by the throat as he did. “This affects all mutants, even those who have abandoned their kind.”

He struggled and clawed at his hand “Melodramatic much?” he choked out.

“12 have been murdered, and 5 were teens. 2 are missing, and we've assumed them dead.” Colossus squeezed Maggot’s throat extra tight for emphasis. “You're a mutant. You could be next.” He threw him at the ground. “You're lucky we’re even offering you money.”

“Savage,” said El dryly.

Maggot spat, and a little bit of the floorboard dissolved. “Fine. I'll talk.”

“Good.”

With a significant amount of wheezing, he adjusted himself and sat back down in his chair. “I had heard about a few of the murders, I just thought a few had gone rogue, or done something stupid. But being highly invested in my survival, I looked into it.”

“And?”

“Nothing but a whisper of a name and a specialty- ‘Dawes’ and ‘sniper’. Useless.”

“We’ll find him anyway. Thanks, Maggot.” Colossus’s turn away was a signal to the rest of the team to move out. 

“Wait!” Maggot stood up. “That information took me weeks to get! I deserve something more! Money! Protection!”

“Well too bad,” he snarled over his shoulder. “You sacrificed protection when you left us.” He shifted down into a human and slid open the pocket door. 

“Plus, I googled you,” chimed in Wade. “We don't have the money for you in the special effects budget.”

As soon as they got through, Colossus turned to Wade and asked, “Was I scary enough?”

“Christ, man, you scared me a little,” answered Wade, clapping him on the shoulder, then immediately recoiling and grabbing his hand. “Wow, still pretty solid. Did not expect that.”

“What now?” asked El.

“We montage it. I have a few underground connections.”


End file.
